


Pain As Sharp As A Sword

by RetroFreak1



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Blood and Violence, Cold-Blooded Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Tries, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Little Shit, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Eating Disorders, Everyone Needs A Hug, Food mentions, Gen, Hurt Deceit | Janus Sanders, Injury Recovery, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Major Character Injury, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Morally Neutral Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Starvation, Surgery, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Week, Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Sympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26509657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RetroFreak1/pseuds/RetroFreak1
Summary: Patton enlists the help of everyone's favourite snake boy to talk to the other sides as no-one has left their rooms and refuse to talk. Patton watches as he finds out just how bad they treated Janus before as he reveals more about himself while helping with Logan and Virgil. However, things take a turn for the worst when they finally get to Roman's room with everyone else in tow. Roman is filling to the brim with anger and without thinking about the consequences, one grossly misjudged action sends Janus reeling and his biggest secret revealed. Shoving Janus to the sidelines so often in the past did more harm to him than anyone could ever imagine. Will he accept the help he needs? How can someone who represents Thomas's self-care be so bad applying it to himself? Can Roman ever redeem himself for what he did to Janus?TW: eating disorder, starvation, injury with a sword, mentions of surgery, food mentions
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Everyone, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 59
Kudos: 239





	1. A Lecture From The Snake Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first fic so please leave constructive criticism in the comments. In case you didn't notice, I'm a massive Janus simp. The way I like to show that, however, is a bucketful of angst so I hope you're ready for that. Eating disorders are a big part of this fic however so if you are suffering from one, I would recommend that you don't read and instead try and seek help. No actual person should go through what happens in this fic. Try and stay safe.
> 
> BTW, sorry that this chapter is so small. This is my first fic so I thought I'd give you guys a bitesize chunk first. The chapters will get longer so don't worry.

Janus was sitting by his desk, his hands grasping his stomach as if he was afraid he would disintegrate if he let go. Being alone in his room, he didn’t need to keep up a disguise, giving him some rest from his constant facade. Janus was not okay. He hasn’t been okay for a while. He was weak and practically fracturing at the seams, his clothes hanging loosely of his way too slender frame. At least he could relax to an extent, not having to keep his facade, saving him vital energy. However, that sanctuary was soon broken when he heard a knock at the door with an accompanying: “Hey, Kiddo. It’s me. Mind if I come in.” Janus stood up, reasserted his disguise and forced his arms to lay by his sides, no matter how much his body was telling him to keep round his middle. His energy reserves were running low but he couldn’t worry about that right now. He had an image to keep. After a long breath, he replied to the paternal side outside the door. “Come on in, Patton.”

Patton slowly entered the room. He had never been in Janus’ room before. Contextually, that made sense since until the recent episode, he vilified that very side. He stood for a while taking in the room. The walls were black with yellow trimmings. He had a yellow bed to match. In the corner, there was a wine cabinet, although it only seemed half full. If Patton had looked closer to the bed, he would have noticed all the empty bottles underneath this. Tired of this time wasting, Janus sighed out, “I’m guessing you came here for a reason. It would be such as shame if you were to tell me what that was instead of doing the incredibly important task of scanning my room.”

Patton, having realised what he was doing, immediately cleared his throat, although he hesitated before he spoke. “Oh, um, sorry. It’s just that I’ve never been in here before. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you. No-one else seems to want to give me the time of day, not that I blame them, after what happened in the last episode.”

“So, I’m your last choice then, huh?” Janus, replied jokingly.

“Oh, no that’s not what I meant at all.” Patton blurted out. “It’s just that no-one has come out of their rooms and no one is even talking to each other. It can’t be healthy. With what you were saying about self-care, we can’t accomplish that if we are at war with each other. I hoped you would help me talk to the others. That is, if you are up to it.”

What Patton was saying resonated with the snake. Although he wasn’t the best at self care for himself, he was Thomas’ self preservation and it would be extremely hard to function and take care of yourself if you are constantly at war with yourself. His job as self preservation was to keep the balance, although it seemed he had been failing at that recently. In addition to this, he had some apologising to do to both Logan and Roman for the way he acted in the last episode. Acting the way he had did seemed to cause more harm than good.  
“Don’t worry, my moral friend, I shall accompany you to talk with the others and help you end this thick tension that has been going round. It is the least I could do after you heard me out last episode.”

Silently, Patton wondered the ramifications of such a phrase. Had Patton and the others pushed Janus back down so much that just being heard out, the bare minimum, was something worthy of praise for him. He really was looking at the bare necessities. Patton didn’t let his mind drift too far, however. He and Janus had a job to do. He shaked those thoughts out of his head and put on his kindest smile and said “Well then, we better get going”.

Janus followed Patton out of the room and followed him. After a few moments, Janus asked: “So, who is going to be the first victim of our self-care strategy? Y’know I just love not knowing where I’m going.” Patton giggled slightly at his phrasing.  
“Logan. I thought that maybe since his departure last episode, he probably needs reminding that we do indeed care.” After a few moments, he then added, “I’m also psyching myself up for the other two. I can’t phase Roman at the moment and I have no idea what’s going on with Virgil. I just don’t want to put my foot in my mouth. Logan, however, being logic, I thought would be the easiest one to talk to.”  
“That’s fine. Just as long as I don’t go into his room.” Janus responded nonchalantly.  
“What’s wrong with his room?” Patton asked, confused.  
“Oh, well, it’s not like I’m the embodiment of lies and he’s the embodiment of truth. It would be so healthy walking into a room which is the antithesis of myself. Wouldn’t cause any discomfort at all”. He responded sarcastically.  
“I guess that makes sense. I’ll go in and get him to come out.”  
Janus relaxed at hearing that. He really did not want to go into Logan’s room. His explanation however was only a half truth. Logan, being the opposite of him, would cause the room to have negative effects but these effects weren’t exactly discomfort. He would not be able to use a disguise in Logan’s room. His current predicament would be exposed and once it was, he wouldn’t be able to conceal it. He had to prevent that happening at all costs.

Soon enough, they arrived outside Logan’s room. Anxiously, Patton knocked on the door. Within under 5 seconds later, Logan was at the door, deadpanned and stoic. “Hello Patton, Janus. May I ask what is the meaning of your visit today?”

“Well, we were wondering if we could talk with you. I want to make sure everything is okay.” Patton said, hesitantly.

“Thomas’ functions are operating as normal and he is on schedule. Nothing seems to be the matter. If that is all you came for, I shall get back to work.” He responded, a hint of resentment in his tone which didn’t go unnoticed by Janus.

“What Patton means is if you, Logan are okay. After our departure last episode, you didn’t seem to be very...happy. If you come out of your room, we can talk about this.” Janus said, picking up the mantle for Patton.

“I am Logic. I have no need for emotions. That would be counterproductive to my purpose. I see no need to talk about an issue that doesn’t exist and so your proposal would seem to only waste my time in which I could spend working. If that is all, may I please depart from this trivial conversation.” Logan coldly replied. Patton visually deflated at hearing that, dropping his head to look at the ground while fidgeting at the sleeves of his cat hoodie. Janus, however, was having none of it.

“Logan, here is a question for you. I am Deceit, correct.?”  
“Um, yes.” He responded, confused. “Is this new information to you? That is highly unlikely.”  
“And by being Deceit, I am a master of lies, right?”  
“In a manner of speaking, yes, I guess so” He responded, unsure of where this was going. Janus, however, wasn’t done yet.  
“That means that if anyone knew what a lie was, how it looked and how it sounded, it would be me, being the resident expert, yes?  
“Um,yes?” Logan was visibly shrinking back into the doorway now. Patton was surprised how Janus had managed to provoke such a reaction, from the logical one of them, no less.  
“Then, tell me Logan, since I am so confused that I can tell that you are lying. It’s not a good look on you.”  
“E-excuse me!?”  
“Oh, you don’t understand. And here I thought you were meant to be the smart one.” Janus’ words were sharp, leaving Logan speechless and red with anger.  
“Here let me explain. You may be logic, but that is not all you represent I’ll give you an example. Patton here,” he spoke smugly, gesturing to the fatherly figure next to him, “is morality. But he is also heartfelt emotions. That is because as a whole he represents the heart. Roman is creativity, but he is also passion and pride. That is because he represents the ego. Virgil is anxiety, but he is also nervousness and paranoia. That is because he represents flight or fight. Remus is intrusive thoughts, but he is also crude humour and lust. That is because he represents all the gross parts of ourselves. Myself, I am lies, selfishness, duality and balance. That is because I represent self preservation. And as self-preservation, I can see that what you are saying and doing is bull-shit. You also represent reasoning, intellect and rationality and above all, the mind. Right now, you are stuck in your own head, which doesn’t seem very rational to me. And don’t try to deny this as I can taste your lies. They’re not very tasty and so I would not like to be force-fed them, thank you very much.”

Both Patton and Logan were dumbfounded by his lecture. Neither moved nor made an attempt to speak. Janus found this as an opportunity to reload his sharp tongue. “Are you just going to stand there gawking or are you going to stop being a hermit, come out of your room and come with us to the common room so we can talk about this over a jar of crofters?” He asked, a smirk spreading across his face.  
“Um, ok.” Logan replied, still dumbfounded. Silently, he walked out of the room, closed his door and followed Janus and Patton to the common room.

“How in the world did you manage that?” Patton whispered to Janus, starstruck.  
“I know bullshit when I see it. I put him in his place and shoved his fallacies in his face. You guys don’t realise it but in order to lie, I must know what truth is.” He whispered back smugly.  
“I guess I never thought about that.” Patton confessed a bit guiltily. “I guess I underestimated you.”  
“Don’t worry about it. I’m used to it.” He responded, deadpan. Hearing that broke Patton a little bit inside. However, he didn’t say anything. They needed to sort out Logan and right now was not the time to open Janus’ can of worms. Silently, they walked down to the common room, ready to open Logan’s can instead.


	2. Anger is Rational

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a little chit-chat with the resident nerd, crofters included. A lot of angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Thanks for the love on the first chapter. I hope you guys enjoy this one just as much. TW: self-hatred, strong hints at eating disorders, food mentions. Remember to all stay safe, kiddos.

They all sat around the table in the common room so they could face each other as they talked. Patton took down a few jars of crofters, one for Logan and one for himself. He knew that Logan liked to eat just the jam and Patton thought he’d try it too. He did offer Janus one as well but he declined, saying that he wasn’t a fan. It was too sweet for him. However, he did give the jars the other two had in their hands quick glances every so often which no-one noticed.   
“I can always get something else for you to eat. It feels wrong eating in front of someone who isn't.” Patton suggested. Janus however, turned him down.  
“No, thank you. I already ate. I had something earlier in my room before you asked for my assistance. Anyway, a picnic is so necessary right now. The crofters is so we are more comfortable and is not a lunch break. I’m sure Logan would agree with me about the fact that being in a comfortable environment helps with difficult conversations. Isn’t that right, Lo?”

“Indeed, being in a relaxed environment with a favoured treat would reduce stress levels and make a difficult decision easier. If Janus is not wanting to eat due to being full, however, being made to eat just out of social convention would actually increase his stress levels due to the awkwardness and would make his body physically uncomfortable due to being overcapacity.”

“Oh, ok. Whatever makes you happy, kiddo. Although, I do need to treat you later for the help you are giving me, Jan. That is, if you don’t mind.”

“Thank you, Patton, but it really is ok. I’ve hardly done anything yet. Nothing worth congratulating. You should instead treat Logan as I bet this is really hard for him. Anyway, we have gotten off track. Time to talk about Logan.” He replied quickly, eager to get the spotlight off him.

“So, Logan, why did you want to be all by yourself? Is it about what you said in the last episode? How you thought we didn’t want your company and we didn’t care, because we do. I do!” Patton started, getting a bit teary-eyed already, being the emotional one of the group.

“I guess you could put it that way, Patton. There would be no point lying about this issue of mine with Janus right in front of me. And it is logical to not “dance” around the issue, as some may put it. I feel like...like I’ve been ignored. No-one wants to listen to my contributions. When Remus showed up, it took ages until any of you actually listened to what I had to say. I thought that at the end of that dilemma, all of you would try to listen to me, but just like in the trial, I was overlooked. However, instead of being put in the corner, I was “skipped” instead.” His hold on his jar of crofters got tighter, his knuckles turning white. He wasn’t finished yet though.

“I’m logic. It should be vital for Thomas to listen to me. But I am constantly getting voted out. It got me so angry. That’s what worried me. As Logic, I should not feel anything. I should be void of emotion like I tried to claim I was earlier. I tried to suppress it. In doing so, I rejected my own advice. Repression is very bad indeed. In trying to be more logical, I created a paradox, illogically repressing. That got me even angrier, creating a cycle. It all came ahead when I was skipped and replaced. That made me so angry. Especially since you agreed with my point, but not with me. I felt so invalidated. I could see then that I wasn’t wanted. That is why I resigned myself to my room. I thought there, I could try and rid myself of that anger and become purely logical once again. 

“Oh, Logan. I’m so so sorry for how I made you feel. I was in a bad place, unsure of what way to turn, not knowing the answers. I tried my hardest to be as moral as I could. When you started to poke holes in my thinking, I panicked and skipped your explanation. I did an awful thing. You were right in what you were saying, about my mismatched way of thinking. I know that now. If you hadn’t started attacking the foundations, I don’t think Janus here could have toppled my toxic mentality. I was so counterproductive and in my aim to get the right answers, I completely overlooked your logical one until Janus had to physically shove it in my face.” Patton, started, tears actually starting to roll down his face at this point.

“Agreed. I had agreed with you and your arguments. However, that doesn’t excuse the way I literally removed you from the conversation. I’ve done that twice. I never thought it was such a big deal before as I thought it was the only way to get my point across. However, in doing that, I prevented you from doing the very same. I was extremely selfish. I realise that now. I can tell you right now though that none of us has done this to you under malicious intent, especially not Patton.” Janus continued. He, however, was not the emotional sad sack like Patton and so only showed a frown and a hand placed over his chest to show his sincerity. 

“I guess part of this is my fault though,” Logan said, looking down at his crofters, shoving a heapful of it into his mouth sloppily. Janus pretended not to notice.   
“What do you mean? None of it is your fault. We are the ones who silenced you like that!” Patton said, standing up, almost shouting, although there was no hint of anger in his voice.  
“What I mean is, if I hadn’t pretended that none of this was affecting me, if I had come out and explained how I was feeling, then maybe you guys might have realised that I didn’t like being put in the corner. If I had realised what you said Janus, that I am also rationality and that it is rational to feel angry sometimes. Instead, I came off as cool and calculating, acting as if emotion didn’t play a part in logic and reasoning at all when in reality, the two are intertwined. If I hadn’t acted as if I was a “robot”, as some may say, then maybe I would have fit in better and my voice would hold more weight. It seems I sowed the seeds for my own demise.”

It was now Janus’ turn to stand up. He slammed his hands on the table, surprising the other two and practically shouted. “Call me psychic because I detect bullshit once more. Seriously, I must be on a roll today. You may not be lying, Logan, but you certainly are not right. You are basically saying, “If I acted zanier and not as logical, they would listen to my logic. Never ever change yourself to fit in. You are Logan. You love crofters. You like science facts. You have to use vocab cards in order to remember slang. You cut straight to the point. You are one of Thomas’ main sides. No one, and I mean no one, would want you to change. None of this is your fault. I repeat none of this is your fault. We were all too busy with our own issues to pay you any mind. We are the ones at fault, not you. I promise you that at least I and Patton will take full responsibility for what we have done. We may have acted under the guise of the greater good but what we did is unacceptable is and I for one wholeheartedly apologise for our gross misdeeds.” By the end of this speech, he was practically out of breath, breathing heavily. “Now, could you excuse me. I believe I need to calm down and it would probably be better if I did that by leaving the room for the moment.” And with that, Janus turned and left the room.

For the second time that day, both Patton and Logan seemed to be dumbfounded by Janus’ speeches. When Patton looked over at Logan, however, he suddenly said, “Logan, you’re… you’re crying.” Logan looked over at Patton before raising a hand to his cheek and coming back with a wet hand.  
“It s-seems I am. How ill-illogical.” He choked out, sputtering.”I guess what Janus said really hit home. I shouldn’t really be surprised. He is the embodiment of self-care after all. He reminded me that I do need to take my own self into consideration. It does feel nice though, to finally let it all out, to feel listened to. Thank you Patton, for your understanding.”  
Before Logan could utter another sentence out, Patton had rugby tackled him into a hug, both of them now in tears.

“I’m so, so sorry Logan. I can’t believe I invalidated you like that. If I ever do it again, I want you to say something. I want you to point it out. I will try my best to not ever hurt you again.” Patton sobbed.

“It's quite alright Patton. I know the effort is being made. I’ll try my best to not hide my true feelings and intentions any longer. If I feel ignored, I will make a formal complaint with you.”

“Hey Logan”  
“Yes, Patton”  
“Would you come with me and Janus to talk to Virgil? Janus and I wanted to talk with everyone. We wanted to start with you first and I think, after that outburst, Janus isn’t ready to face Virgil yet with only me as backup.” He asked nervously. He wasn’t sure if Logan was up to it yet.  
“Yes, of course. However, we should probably wait until Janus returns. We don’t want any of us going before we are ready. Anyway, I still need to finish my crofters.” He joked with a smile.  
“I do too.” Patton replied, chuckling.

Janus had locked himself in the bathroom for now. That way, no one would walk in on him. As soon as he left the room, he started glitching, his disguise beginning to fail him. He had put so much energy into his little speech that he had sapped some from his disguise. He Couldn’t have the others find out. He just couldn’t. At least this way, he could let down his disguise safely until he had calmed down, allowing him to put more energy back into his facade. He looked in the mirror beside him, hating what was looking back. He couldn’t complain though. He deserved this. He didn’t do good enough and this was his punishment. Tears were now rolling down his cheeks as his arms regained their position around his middle. It hurt. It hurt so much. Now though, after realising what he had done to Logan after trying to remedy this problem, he felt as if he deserved it even more. He couldn’t help but notice that Logan’s situation was similar to his own. Not being listened to, being pushed to the sidelines. Logan, however, had the advantage of being present in Thomas’ mind at all times, being needed, at least slightly, in all decisions. A person needed Logic. Knowing what he forced Logan through the same thing he had, it made him sick to his stomach. Luckily, it seemed Logan hadn’t reached to the same extent as Janus, meaning he didn’t have to suffer these side effects. At least by helping Logan, he could ease some of that guilt.

After about 15 minutes, Janus returned to the common room. The other two were just finishing their crofters. That’s good. He didn’t have to watch them eat it anymore. He smiled when he saw that they weren’t as upset as they were. He cleared his throat, getting the others attention. When they looked at him, he continued. “So I’m guessing we shouldn’t go to Virgil’s room now, with this whole conversation obviously still unresolved.”

“Actually, you are correct Janus. This conversation is still unresolved.” Logan replied, getting up. Confused, and a little anxious, he watched as Logan walked up to him. He stopped when he was about a foot in front. “I still have a piece to say if you don’t mind. Thank you. Talking about it really helped and I wouldn’t have been able to do that if you hadn’t given me that, what would you say, nudge.  
“Oh, don’t worry Logan. It’s quite alright. It’s the least I could do after the pain I put you through. I may represent selfishness, but that doesn’t mean I completely lack empathy. I am Thomas’ selfishness, at the end of the day and so what is good for him is good for me.” he responded nonchalantly.  
“Really, though, Jan, I mean it. Thank you.” Logan continued, looking Janus right in the eyes. Logan then went to put his hand on the serpent’s shoulder, being a very well known sign of gratitude, but before he could place his hand, Janus instinctively recoiled, dodging the touch. When Logan looked up at him confused, all Janus could think to say was “Sorry. I’m, uh, not very good with touch. I appreciate your gesture, however, so, um, you’re welcome.” And with that, Janus started walking out of the common room, gesturing for Patton and Logan to follow. 

“What was that about?” Patton whispered to Logan, concern etched into his face.  
“No idea. He says he doesn’t like touch. Maybe his scales are extremely sensitive, to the point where touching them, even under two layers of clothing in the form of his capelet and jacket, would overwhelm them.”  
“But, Logan, you were about to pat the human side.” Patton countered, unconvinced.  
“It could have something to do with self-preservation. Maybe he sees all touch as a threat.”  
“Oh, poor kiddo, he must be so touch starved!” Patton whispered back.  
Janus, in front of them, gave himself a sad smile. He was more than just touch starved. If Logan had touched him, he would have found that out. His disguises were just illusions after all. You can’t touch an illusion. You can only touch the real thing. Luckily, it seemed that they were nowhere near figuring out his secret. Hopefully, they never would.


	3. Logan's A Fan of Steven Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the Virgil talk. Plenty of angst. Pat and Lo being good friends.   
> Virgil doesn't quite buy it.  
> Not gonna lie, this chapter is a bit full on. It'll get worse before it gets better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: self-harm, more hints to eating disorders, self-hatred.

When they reached Virgil’s room, Janus gulped hard. He went to knock on the door but before he could, his hand fell back to his side. Logan and Patton looked at each other, unsure of what to say.  
“Everything alright, Jan?” Patton asked, concerned.  
“I can’t go in there.” He replied curtly.  
“Why not?” Logan inquired.  
“The last time I came in here was shortly after the embarrassing phases episode. I was really antagonistic. Actually, every encounter I’ve had with Virgil has been antagonistic. I don’t think he’ll believe me if I say I’m trying to help.”

“Just because you were antagonistic then, doesn’t mean you’re antagonistic now. With me and Logan here to back you up, I’m sure Virgil will see you’re trying to help.” Patton replied, optimistic.   
“You don’t get it. I have not changed at all. Not in the slightest. The only thing that has changed is that you guys now accept me. You guys don’t realise it but I masquerade as others for a reason. If I have a trusted face, I will be listened to. I’m not the most moral. I will never be the most moral. Virgil knows that. I may be trying to help now, but in his eyes, I will go right back to betraying you later.”

“That is completely absurd,” Logan said, looking at Janus straight in the eyes again. “You said yourself that you only act as others as it is a way to be listened to. Now that you are listened to, at least by us, you have no reason to trick. It would go against self-preservation to do so, starting an internal war inside Thomas. You may not have changed, but that is because you were never truly evil to begin with. If Virgil doesn’t see that, he is the one who needs to change. Not you.”

It was Janus’s turn to be dumbfounded this time. It took him a minute to regain his thoughts. Did Logan really just stand up for him? Earlier that day, Logan was cold and angry at him. Now, after one heartfelt conversation, he was acting as if the mere idea of Janus being a dick was outlandish. The thing was, Janus couldn’t taste any lies. What Janus didn’t realise was in reality, Logan never fully vilified him. He may have excluded him, but that was before he understood the serpent’s standpoint. Logan could see now that, at the end of the day, whether Janus was malevolent or benevolent, he wanted what was best for Thomas, and so, by extension, the rest of the sides. 

“Thank you, Logan. I really needed to hear that. But I’m not even sure if Virgil is fully aware that I’ve been accepted by yous two. I doubt he will take the news well. I think it best you guys go in ahead and explain. He trusts you. Once he is in a good headspace, you can come and get me. I’ll be in my room, okay?”

“Um, okay.” The other two said in unison. And without another word, Janus sank out, sinking into his room.  
“I think it best we have the discussion out in the hall here. We know what happens if we go into his room for too long.” Logan said.  
“Yeah, you’re right. I hope Janus is okay. He seemed a bit shaken up.” Patton replied.  
“He’s probably fine. Most likely, he just knows that if Virgil is in a state, he wouldn’t be the face Virgil would want to see. Facing him now, before we talk to him would not make any sense from his perspective. But it’s not Janus that needs us right now. It’s Virgil.” And with that, Logan knocked on the door. 

When the door opened, Patton and Logan were met with a dishevelled looking Virgil. It looked as if he had been crying as his eyeshadow had streamed down his face, marking out tear tracks. His face upon seeing them did not show any sign of happiness, but no sign of hatred either. “What do you want?” he uttered, coldly.  
“We were hoping we could talk, kiddo. Nothing bad. Just wanting to know how you were doing is all, so if you come out into the hall, we could have a little chat.”  
“Don’t wanna. Bye.” Is all he said as he attempted to slam the door. However, Logan put his foot into the door, preventing it from closing.  
“I don’t think so.” He looked Virgil dead in the eyes, causing Virgil to visibly shrink back. 

“What the hell, Logan! Go away! I don’t want visitors.” He said trying to close the door, slamming it several times on Logan’s foot. Logan, however, didn’t even flinch.  
“Virgil Sanders, it is obvious you are in a state of negative emotions and would rather be alone but please tell me, what would that accomplish? How would you get through your problems cramped in your room? Trust me, I’ve tried and it does not work. All it accomplishes is a spiralling mindset. So I will give you a choice. Would you rather talk about your problems out here in the hall or would your time truly be better spent trying to break my foot with your door.” His voice was stern, but not angry or hateful. If anything, he came across as a parent. At his words, Virgil broke down crying, smudging his makeup even more than it already was.

“Oh kiddo, come here.” Patton welcomed, arms wide open, expectantly. At the site, Virgil immediately ran into him, hugging him at full force. “Sshh, sshhh. It’s okay. I’m here. Logan’s here. We’re here. Cry it out and then we can have that chit-chat. You’re out of luck though if you wanted to do it over a jar of crofters, me and Lo here finished it off earlier.” he joked, trying to lift the mood. Thankfully, through his tears, Virgil chuckled back. There stayed there, hugging for a full 10 minutes until Virgil calmed down.

Janus was in his room, alone, again. He allowed himself to let down his facade once again. He knew that if he had talked to Virgil, the anxious side might have shouted at him and an argument would take place. That is not what Virgil needed right now. Also, if it had escalated far enough, Virgil might have slapped him, or something along those lines. His disguise would have been discovered. No one would have been happy. He shouldn’t let his mind dwell though. He was safe here. He could recharge until the others came back. He went over to his wine cabinet, grabbing a bottle and a glass. He hadn’t had any today and he felt as if he needed it. It would give him some energy at least. Pouring half a glass, he didn’t want the others to think him as an alcoholic, he sat on his bed and allowed himself to relax and his mind wander. 

Logan and Patton were really treating him as if they finally accepted him. However, what he did to them, did he really deserve it. His body sent him that terrible signal again. He was happy he was alone and no-one was there to hear it. It might have let on his predicament and he couldn’t have that. He downed his drink, hopefully quelling it. Thankfully, for now, it stopped. However, it still hurt. His hands grabbed at his stomach yet again. How long had it been now? He lost track. He needed a distraction. He needed one now. His eyes drifted to his left hand, concealed by his glove. There was a reason he showed his right hand was because that one wasn’t covered in scales all over. He hated his scales. He couldn’t do much about the ones on his face, but all the others, he tried his best to conceal. 

Taking off his glove, he started picking at the scales, trying his best to pull some off. This way, he got two birds with one stone. He could get rid of his horrible scales and it gave him a distraction from the pain in his stomach. He knew what he was doing. This wasn’t the first time he employed this method. He picked and picked and picked until he felt the pain in his stomach start to fade. After that, he took out the first aid.

Once Virgil was ready, Patton slowly let him go. “S-sorry about that pop-star. I kinda ruined your top.” He sniffled out.  
“No worries, kiddo. It’ll come out. It’s just a top. What really matters is you. Why are you so upset? What happened.” Patton asked, voiced wracked with concern.  
“I t-told T-thomas that I-I used to b-be a d-d-darkside, just like Deceit and Remus. H-how can I face him again. I t-thought that’s why no-one came to visit me. I-I thought you all hated me.”  
“Of course we don’t hate you, Virgil. You are a changed side. Everyone can see that. Anyway, no-one cares about who you used to be. We care about who you are now and who you are is a lovely and incredible person.” Logan said, softly, rubbing Virgil’s back in comforting motions.  
“D-did you just quote Steven Universe, specs?” Virgil asked, surprised but amused. Logan’s face became pink at that observation (how thematic), before sputtering out, embarrassed,  
“What if I did? It’s a good how.” They all had a chuckle about that.  
“Anyway, if Thomas was angry at you, he would have said so.”  
“I-I guess you’re right. I’ve been overreacting and staying in my room hasn’t really helped.” Virgil admitted.

“Yeah, no reason to worry. The reason no-one has come to see you, anyway is because of what happened in the last episode. That is what me, Lo and Janus are all trying to fix at the moment.” Patton explained.  
Virgil visibly froze at that, his eyeshadow darkening greatly. “W-whose name did you just say?” He whispered, cold anger present in his voice. Patton’s face went white, realising what he just said.   
“J-janus. Y’know, Deceit.”  
“How do you know his name?” Virgil uttered, the anger getting stronger.  
Logan felt now was the time to intercede. He quickly explained the events of the last episode. This, however, did not calm Virgil down.  
“A-and you said t-that you were working with him, after the mess he caused.” He accused, venom dripping from his words.  
“I hardly see how advocating for self-care is a mess Virgil. If anything, he is clearing up the mess we caused. You are letting your bias get in the way of rational thought. Janus isn’t as bad as you think he is.” Logan replied, his stern voice making a comeback. Virgil, though, was not convinced.

“Not as bad? Not as bad?! Specs, did you just forget what he did to you, what he did to Patton, what he did to Thomas?! He’s evil and shouldn’t have a say in anything. He’s an awful, conniving bastard and you are a fool if you even contemplate trusting him. Look at what he did to Roman. That’s probably why Roman hasn’t visited me yet. He’s probably in his room devastated.” He was shouting now. 

“Virgil, just because Janus is a liar, it doesn’t mean he is a bad person. Are you seriously advocating for hating on someone for something they can’t control. If I remember correctly, you hated being vilified as well so why wish the same fate on him. As for his actions, it is obvious he was doing what he can to be listened to. Unfortunately, he didn’t have your privilege of being able to make such a presence that people were forced to listen. He has to be strategic about it. And what he said to Roman, he was in a vulnerable position and retaliated. He did not instigate. The way I see it, Virgil, you are being a hypocrite. Both of you were dealt the same hand and both of you tried to help Thomas in the only ways you could. So explain to me why you deserved acceptance and he doesn’t?” Logan argued. 

“But-but, he’s probably playing you.” Virgil screeched.  
“You should have seen what he said to Lo, Virge. He really helped him talk about his issue, almost forcing him to confront his problem. Jan is self-preservation, why would he want to jeopardise us after what he said?” Patton suggested, his voice nowhere near as stern as Logan’s but passion burning each word.

“H-he could have an ulterior motive. He could be waiting for his chance to strike.” Virgil pleaded desperately. 

“Then why would he try so hard to build us up? He’s not a bad guy Virge. He never has been. We just never gave him the chance to prove so. Do you really want to tear that chance away from him?” Patton said, calmly.

“But-but”, Virgil mumbled,  
“You don’t have to trust him, Virgil, but at least trust us. We wouldn’t want to hurt you, would we? If he truly is evil and you were right, we’ll cast him back out again, but, truthfully, I just think he wants what is best for Thomas, like the rest of us. But, Virgil, you have to trust us. Please trust us.” Logan begged. Virgil had never seen Logan like this. He had to respect it. If Patton and Logan of all sides trusted Janus then he guessed there must have been some merit to him. 

“O-okay. I’ll play along. Don’t expect me to be all buddy-buddy with him though.” Virgil resigned, defeated.  
“Hey, Virge, what if I told you that the only reason he isn’t here now is because he knew how upset it would make you. He was actually going to be the one to knock on the door, but he had a pretty good idea about what would happen if he did. He seemed really torn up about it, though.” Patton said, bumping his shoulder.  
“R-really? Janus was going to...try and comfort me?” He had really heard it all now.


	4. Getting Straight To The Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil joins the party with Remus not too far behind. Once they finally get to Roman, the encounter quickly turns sour, with Roman doing something he'll probably forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Remus being Remus, swears, blood, injury with a sword. Yep, it's all going down now. I hope you guys can handle it.

Janus had been in his room a while now. He has erased all evidence of his little distraction, ready for the others to knock. The only person left now was Roman. That is what terrified him. Roman seemed like he was one wrong move away from pointing his sword at him. Before he had a chance to dwell on those thoughts any longer, he heard a knock at the door. 3 short taps. Logan. He got up, re-applied his disguise and answered. Logan and Patton seemed happy with themselves, both standing tall. Virgil seemed as if he just lost a fight, however. Without another word, Janus exited his room, closed his door and turned to the others. “Ready to go?” After the others nodded, he started walking.

“It wasn’t long until Virgil felt chatty. “So, Jan-us, what are you planning?” He asked, the accusatory tone from earlier back into his voice.”  
“Virgil!” Patton gasped, surprised.  
“Don’t worry. It’s fine, Patton. For your information, Virgil, what I am planning is to end this inner conflict we are suffering at the moment. Thomas can hardly function if his sides are at war with each other, can he? It’s not like it’s a simple matter of self-preservation, is it?” Janus responded, not letting the emo nightmare bring him down.  
“Mmh” is all Virgil mumbled back, unconvinced.

“I hope you were fine in your room, Janus. I hope you weren’t feeling left out.” Patton asked, now incredibly aware of how many times he had left Janus out of things.  
“Of course I was fine, my moral friend. It wasn’t as if it was my idea to wait in my room.” He responded his usual sass back in his voice. Patton was happy that the worry that wracked him earlier was now gone. It seemed as if they were all ready to face Roman. Sadly, there was now an obstacle in their way. Remus.

He had just appeared in front of them, as is his want to do. Whenever they tried to walk around him, he got in their way. Exasperated, Janus sighed, “What do you want Remus?”  
“Whatcha doing?” he asked far too innocently.  
“We are going to visit Roman if you must know. We need a chat. He has some issues that we need to talk out.” he replied, still sighing.  
“You, Double Dick, talk to Roman. Ha, fat chance. He’s angrier than a nest of hornets attacking a puppy that dared trespass by their nest.”  
“Double Dick?” Logan questioned. Janus turned to him and gave him a face that said: you don’t wanna know.  
“I realise I am a big cause of his distress but that is why I have to talk to him. I need the clean the air between us.”

“Wait a minute, Remus. Why aren’t you upset? I mean when he compared you to Roman, he practically called you evil.” Patton questioned, confused.  
“Really, Pat. You must be dumber than a toddler walking onto a train track. I wouldn’t be offended about being called the evil twin. That was my whole shtick. And Double Dick here absolutely owned that little bitch. Put him in his fucking place the way I see it.”  
Patton guessed that made sense. Virgil, however, was livid at Remus.  
“Take back what you said about Roman. You don’t know what he’s been through.” He snapped.

Remus sharply turned his head to Virgil at that, his neck making an audible cracking sound. He had his attention. “Ex-fucking-scuse me? What he’s been through? Last time I checked he wasn’t the one who gets shouted down for making one butt joke. I’ve gone through way more shit than he’s ever had to go through. You don’t see me crying like a mother at her daughter’s funeral. He’s a drama queen. Always has been.” His voice was still in his joking tone, although there was a hint of resentment there.

“Anyway, thank you so much but we ought to be going now.” Janus announced, obviously now annoyed.  
“Fine, but I’m coming with.” Remus said, joining the group, in a sing-song voice.  
“I don’t think that’s very wise.” Logan interjected, pushing up his glasses.  
“Tell someone who gives a fuck, teach. I’m looking forward to watching this play out.” He replied, still chipper. The rest of the group did a collective sigh and carried on walking.

When they finally reached the room, Janus went to knock on the door, but Remus stopped him. “Sorry, Double Dick, but he’s not gonna let ya in. He’s been sulking for ages and won’t let anyone enter, let alone you. However, you're in luck. There are some bonuses being intrusive thoughts.” The group wondered what he meant. All except Janus who had a pretty good idea about what was about to happen. Remus put his hand against the door and immediately, a green glow started emanating from underneath it. This glow started to spread across the door like veins until he heard a small click. Once he heard it, he took his hand back off, the glowing stopping immediately. He then took the handle of the door, and voila, it opened.  
“H-how did you do that?” Patton asked, bewildered  
“Oh come on, darling, I’m intrusive thoughts. I don’t ask permission to enter a room. Popping in where you’re uninvited means you gotta open a few doors yourself.” He explained.

Once they walked in, the door slammed back behind them. Roman’s room was different from every other side’s room, with the exception of Remus. The room was pure creativity. He could make the room look like anything he wanted to. The scary thing at the moment, however, was that the door was pure white. Remus said that it had been like this for a while. Well, this explained Thomas’ slump in creativity at the moment at least.

Janus walked in front of all the other sides and shouted out “Roman, where are you? It’s me, Janus. I want to talk.” His voice seemed to echo across the white void. When he received no answer, he was about to shout again. However, he was stopped by Patton shouting out: “Look!” Janus looked to where he was pointing and saw a person in the distance walking towards them. Once he got closer, Janus’ stomach dropped. Roman’s eyes were puffy and red. His face was pink as if he was trying to contain his fury. His fists seemed so tightly clenched that Janus wouldn’t be surprised if they bled. He was not happy.

“What do you want, snake? Come to rub salt in the wound?” Every word Roman spoke seemed to be dripping with venom. His eyes, however, face pinched when he looked at who Janus arrived with, betrayal etched into his expression. “Why are you guys all with him? Has he deceived you too with false flattery and empty promises? Leave now before he fully tricks you into sinning.” Remus giggled at what Roman said, causing said brother to growl at him. Logan, however, had a different reaction.

“Come now, Roman. That’s hardly appropriate. He has come to help. If you give him a chance, I’m sure he’ll prove himself to you.” All Roman did in response was a simple tsk. This prompted Patton to take up the mantle. “Yeah Roman. I’m sorry about what happened in the last episode, but that was all my fault, not Jan’s. Just like the rest of us, he has Thomas’ best interests at heart. Just let him show you.” He said, smiling optimistically. Unfortunately, Roman shattered that hope.

He laughed at Patton’s comment, causing the paternal side to shrink back, now nervous. The laugh had no humour in it. It rang empty. It made Janus’ stomach twist. “I can’t believe after all this time, you guys are still against me. Has he really twisted your ways of thinking that much? And Virgil, out of all the sides, I didn’t expect you to betray me.” Roman gave Virgil a look of daggers. Virgil, though, struck back.  
“Actually, Roman, I haven’t betrayed you. I don’t trust Janus. I have no reason to. But I do trust Logan and Patton. If they believe there’s some good in the snake, I’ll at least let them show me.”

Roman recoiled at the words. How dare they! They were now painting him as the villain, after everything he did for Thomas. “Are you fucking kidding me! How many times do I have to tell you that he’s evil. Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though Virgil. I mean, you were just like hi-”. Before he could finish his sentence, his hand flew over his mouth. Janus had flicked his wrist up, silencing him. Roman tried to shout, but his hand muffled it.  
Janus had some sweat falling on the side of his head that he prayed nobody noticed. Anger now etched into his face, he hissed “Don’t you dare bring Virgil into thissss. He hasss done nothing wrong. Be mad at me all you want but leave the othersss out of it.” 

Virgil was in awe. Did Janus just…stand up for him. Before he could ponder in any more, Janus turned around, a sad smile on his face. “Guys, I’m going to go up ahead and try to talk to him. Not too far, just a few yards. We need to talk out our issues by ourselves. I’ll call you over when I’m ready. That includes you, Remus. Please don’t interrupt. This is very important to me.” When he had received a nod from all the other sides, he turned back to Roman and allowed him to now lower his hand.

“How dare-”  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m evil. I get it. Before we turn into a broken record, would you like to talk this out, alone please.” Before he received an answer, he started walking forward, basically forcing Roman to follow if he wanted to continue arguing. He continued until he was out of earshot of the others but still within their site. “So, I’ll let you say your piece, then I’ll say mine.” He said, gesturing towards the prince.

“Oh, where to start. You impersonate the others to fool me, you manipulated me into agreeing with you, you constantly try to trick Thomas into deceitful actions, you managed to deter Patton from his moral path, you break my family apart and you said I was practically the person I hate most. I mean, how can you sleep at night with so many horrible deeds under your belt. If you really want to do what’s best for Thomas, you would retreat back to the shadows and stay there. That way, you could stop corrupting my family. But I know you won’t do that. You would rather trick and deceive your way up to the part and ruin all the work we have done.” His body was now shaking with anger. Janus, though, was not phased.

“First of all, I would like to apologise for my attack on you last episode. I was in a vulnerable position and so once, attacked I retaliated. However, I can see I took it too far. I am sincerely sorry.” He said, placid a hand over his heart and bowing. Roman was not expecting an apology right off the bat. It didn’t quell his anger though. If anything, it ignited it further.  
“A snake like you doesn’t have the right to apologise, as if we are on equal footing” He spat, taking a step closer to the scaled side.  
“Perhaps so, but I wanted to own up and have it out there regardless. As for your little rant, I impersonate the others just for the goal of being listened to, not to fool precisely you. If I had a trusted face, I can say my part.”  
“You don’t deserve to!” He interjected.  
“I am not tearing your family apart. I am only trying to bring it back together and end this inner conflict.”  
“Liar” Roman’s voice started to rise. Janus kept his ground though.  
“I am not deterring anyone from their moral path. I just wanted to allow Thomas to treat himself to self-care, a necessity.”  
“You have an ulterior motive!” His voice still rising.  
“Hardly, what would I have to gain. And I never manipulated you.”  
“Bullshit, of course you did! What the fuck was the trial!”  
“You had the opinion to go to the callback before I even showed up. I may have flattered you, but that was because everyone else was against me. I needed an ally. The whole time I was on your side.”  
“No!” His sword was materialising in his hand. Janus gave it no mind.  
“I actually wanted Thomas and you to be honest with yourselves. I wanted the same thing as you.” Passion was now building in his voice  
“Shut up!”  
“You were the one to throw me under the bus!”  
“Shut up!” Roman shouted.  
“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I actually care about you!”  
“I SAID SHUT UP!” he screamed. 

Janus’ eyes went wide as he recoiled. He could hear a scream in the background. Was it Patton. He looked down. He was bleeding. Roman had attacked him. Right there, going through is stomach and out his back was Roman’s katana. When he looked back up, there was fury on Roman’s face that he had never seen before. All Janus could think to say before Roman pulled his sword back out was “Do you really hate me that much?” He fell to the floor. 

“What the actual fuck!” Remus and Virgil screamed simultaneously as the group ran forward. Patton looked at Roman, his face white with shock and grief.   
“What did you do?” He whispered.  
“Calm down, he’s fine. I have stabbed Remus and been stabbed multiple times. He’ll just feel sore in a moment.  
“Really Roman. Then tell me why the fuck he is glitching!” Remus shrieked at his brother.  
“What are you talking about, he’s not-” He was about to say, but as he looked down at the serpent, he was indeed glitching. He has on his hands and knees, on wand over his stab wound. He was coughing up blood at an alarming rate and was glitching like no tomorrow. He had to leave. His disguise was faltering. They could find out. He quickly looked up at Roman with glazed-over eyes, sorrow deep in his expression before he sank out before anyone could stop him.

The only thing Roman could think to say was “Fuck”.


	5. Fixes and Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Janus left, the others start to fight and try to figure out how he could have been in such a state. Once they find him, they need to make a plan on how to help the poor snake. Roman is a bit of a little shit, but not completely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit shorter. Hope you don't mind.  
> TW: Blood, swearing, Remus being Remus, emaciation, surgery in some detail, fighting.  
> Remember to keep safe! If the last chapter wasn't full-on, this one is, with plenty more potential triggers ontop. If you are still reading it, hope you enjoy!

As soon as Janus arrived in his room, he went straight to his wine cabinet and pulled out a bottle. Removing the cork with his teeth, he poured the drink over his stab wound. He was bleeding all over his floor. He was on the ground. The stab had sapped his remaining energy, his glitching coming to an end as he could no longer stay in disguise. Before he realised it, his hand had gone limp, dropping the bottle as he collapsed to the floor.

Remus had Roman pinned up against the door with the handle of the morning star. “What the fuck did you, Roman!” he screeched at his brother. “All he was doing was talking! You didn’t need to make him into a shish kebab!”  
“How was I supposed to know he’d start glitching!” he shouted back. “We stab each other all the time and I’ve seen you hit the snake with your stupid morningstar. I was angry and lashed out. He needed to stop!” 

“Remus let him go, please. We don’t need more fighting.” Patton pleaded as he tried to quell Virgil’s current panic attack. Remus looked at Patton then looked back at his brother. Against his better judgement, he let his brother down, but not before spitting in his face.   
“Fine, but only because I want him in one piece when he begs for Double Dee’s forgiveness on his hands and knees.”  
Roman scoffed at him. “I will do nothing of the sort. The conniving bastard deserved it after all he’s done.”, crossing his arms.   
It was now Logan’s turn to interject. Silently he walked up to Roman, confusing said side. He stood there for a moment before, without warning, slapping him across the face.

Just as Roman was about to complain, Logan spoke with a cold fury. “How dare you! All he did was talk to you. You're saying he deserves to be impaled because he was trying to explain himself. He deserves to bleed out for daring to apologise. He should be put to death just because he didn’t agree with you. I may not be the most moral side but I am observant and I can see that Janus was right in saying you are just like your brother.”

Roman was in shock. From his perspective, he had just slain the villain. He had tried to free the others from the snake’s wicked grasp. But then, why would everyone be upset. They were supposed to hate him. That’s what they told him. Maybe, just maybe, the snake had proven himself. Maybe what the others were telling him now was true, that the serpent helped them with their problems and did just want what was best for Thomas. At this realisation, Roman sank to his knees and hid his face in his hands.  
“What have I done?” he asked himself solemnly.  
“The thing I don’t understand is why he was glitching, though. I mean why would his form just freak out like that.” Patton asked the group, worry in his face. At the question, both Virgil and Remus paled as they looked at each other. It was Remus who spoke though.

“He only glitches when he no longer has enough energy to hide his disguise.” Remus said.  
“But he wasn’t wearing a disguise. He was in his full snake like-attire” Logan mused.  
“Or maybe that’s just because that's what he needed to look like.” Virgil said, voice barely above a whisper.  
“What do you mean?” Patton asked, face going as pale as Virgil’s.  
“The only reason he would glitch out is if he didn’t have enough energy to maintain his disguise. At the same time, if he was actually hurt by Roman’s sword, that means he also must be extremely low on energy, as in, like, incredibly weakened. Maybe he was hiding that weakness.” Virgil darkly pondered.  
Suddenly, a realisation hit Patton. From all that happened recently, he had found out that for a while, they had been excluding him. What if that’s what did it.

“I think I have a clue.” he announced, fresh tears streaming down his face.  
“What is it?” Logan asked, concern evident on his face.  
“We have been excluding Janus for a long time, like at least from when he revealed himself 2 years ago. Unlike Virgil and Remus who can force themselves on Thomas, Janus is selfishness and so would have to be knowingly employed. What if him not being used is what weakened him? What was it that Thomas said in the moving on video, when I said lying was wrong?”  
Roman was the one to answer, quoting Thomas line-for-line; “That’s a side of myself I’d rather not feed into.” He was followed by a deathly silence.

After a few moments, Logan spoke up. “He must be starved! That explains so much. It explains why the stab injured him so, it explains why he was disguising himself, it explains why he didn’t want me touching him. The only question left then is why doesn’t he eat. I’m sure he could regain his energy that way if he wasn’t getting it from Thomas.”  
“Who knows. I can’t believe I never noticed this though. I mean, we live together. How could I have been so blind? It’s not like I gouged out my eyes and ate them so how could this slip under my radar?” Remus growled, angry at himself.

Patton was sobbing by this point. “Poor guy. We’ve starved him and none of us ever even noticed. How am I meant to be a dad if I can’t even take care of my own family?” Patton choked out wetly. “We need to find him. We need to fix this.” He announced, now standing up. “Where do you think he went?”  
“Probably his room, although he most likely locked it. No matter, that’s why you have me. I’ll get us in there. But we’ve got to go now, come on. There’s no time to waste.” Remus shouted, and with that, he grabbed all the other sides and left the room. 

Remus was practically dragging them to Jan’s room. Patton noticed that the yellow door was a lot palter than it was before. They didn’t have a lot of time. Pulling the same trick he did with Roman’s door, he managed to get the room open. However, no one was prepared for the sight that lay before them. A wine bottle lay nearly empty on the floor, most of the contents staining the carpet beneath it. Janus lay next to it, bleeding out profusely. He looked like a skeleton with skin. How he had enough energy to even move around before was a miracle, Logan thought to himself. His scales were as dull as an archaeological find. His skin was as white as a sheet. Virgil nearly threw up looking at the sight. Remus was the one to make the first move, screaming “Jan” as he ran into the room. As he picked him up, he nearly stumbled at how light the side was to hold. His face screwed up in anger as he shrieked  
“Is this what you wanted Roman?! Are you satisfied?! Do you intend on taking everything away from me?! You split from me, you took Virgil and now this?! You nearly KILLED my best friend! Are you happy?! ANSWER ME!”

“No” was all Roman could bring himself to say as tears rolled down his cheeks. Logan, who had stood stock still this whole time, had now gotten out of his shock. Janus didn’t need this fighting right now. He was hardly breathing as it is. After taking a deep inhale, he took charge.   
“Roman, Remus, you come with me. We are taking Janus back into your room, Roman, where you will make an operating room. From there, Remus will help me operate on his gaping stab wounds and you will be spotting. Virgil, Patton, you will tidy this room so that it will be clean and safe for when Janus returns. We will figure out what to do from then.” After he received a collective nod from everyone, he and the twins took off.

Patton soon discovered that if he had looked more carefully when he first came into Janus’ room earlier that day, he would have noticed something was off. Underneath the bed was almost 20 empty wine bottles. The cupboard was dusty as if it hadn’t been touched in a while. The poor guy probably didn’t have the energy by this point to get changed anymore. Virgil almost threw up when he discovered a load of pulled if scales in the bin, some still with bits of flesh on some of them. Patton couldn’t believe how long they had forced Janus to suffer in silence. The guilt on his shoulders was almost too much to bear. After a full 30min silence, Virgil said out of the blue:  
“By the way, Pat, I, uh, take it back. Jan being evil, I mean.”   
“It’s okay, Virgil, although it shouldn’t be me who you say this too,” Patton replied, sighing sadly. After another 30mins, the room was spotless, ready for Janus’ return. 

In the operating room, Logan had Roman to create all the equipment they needed. Roman also changed Janus’ clothing into a hospital gown with a flick of his wrist. That is when they saw the scales, or in this case, the lack of them. All along Janus’ left side, including his arm and hand, scales looked as if they had been picked off. The twins physically recoiled when they saw the scars. Logan, however, carried on as if the scars didn’t exist, his priority being the stab wound.   
“Roman, I do not think it wise if you are close to Janus. I do not think you would be able to deal with the sight, especially since you caused it.” Roman winced at Logan’s words.  
“Remus, you are aware of how the human body works so will assist.” And with that, the operation began. Many internal organs were damaged and so had to be stitched as well as the stab wounds on Janus’ front and back, as the sword went all the way through. It took about 3 hours in all until the operation was complete. 

“D-do you think he’ll be alright?” Roman asked, face white as a sheet when he saw how much blood Remus and Logan had on their operating gowns.”  
“That depends what you mean, Roman. Physically, his stab wounds will heal now that they are stitched. However, it will take a while until his weight is normal again. Mentally, I believe that will take longer to heal. God knows what he must have been going through in order to put himself in such a state.” Logan responded. “Remus, would you please pick him up, carefully, so we can take him back to his room.”   
“Yeah, sure thing, teach.” Remus replied. Both Remus and Logan changed out of their operating gowns as the group left for Janus’ room, the owner of said room being carried in Remus’ arms.


	6. Bedridden Sass and a Brotherly Clash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus finally wakes up and sees everyone trying to help him. However, despite his condition, he refuses to accept their help. There is more angst in this one and Remus is not a happy bunny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: hunger, Remus being Remus, swearing (not as much as the last chapter though), eating disorders.  
> I know this is going to be hard to read, Janus being on the cusp of help but turning it down. However, things like this don't fix themselves overnight. Remember to all stay safe. This chapter is again very angsty and I'd hate to trigger someone. At the end of the day, this is just a fanfic, nowhere near as important as your safety.

When Janus awoke, he was warm. He hadn’t felt warm for a while. He turned his head to see that his heating lamp was on. That’s strange, he didn’t remember turning that on. When he turned his head back around, he saw 4 other sides in his room, all asleep. Remus and Logan were by his bedside sitting on chairs, both in a position where they could face Janus if they were awake. Roman had conjured a beanbag which he was now slumped over, resting in. Virgil was lying down on Janus’ desk. I guess Virgil’s rule of sitting what is not meant to be sat on also applied to sleep as well. After a moment, Janus realised. They were in his room. He was not disguised. They must have found out. Oh shit.

He tried to get up so that he could escape this situation. However, he was so weakened, he couldn’t push himself up. It was as if his body was lead. The slight movement though woke Logan up. Janus quickly tried to reapply his disguise but it was no use. He was completely drained. Logan, before saying anything, pulled out his phone, tapped a few times and then returned it to his pocket. When he was done, he looked up at Janus with a smile.   
“Hello, Janus. Did you have a nice rest? It seemed like you needed it.” He said softly whispering as to not wake up the others.  
“I’m fine. What is everyone doing asleep in my room?” he replied, coldly, trying to sound as if he was still in control of the situation.  
“Do you remember what happened, before you passed out?” Logan asked, completely dodging his question.  
“I...I was in an argument with Roman. He was getting really angry and things were getting out of control. He shouted and...and then he stabbed me. Holy shit he stabbed me!” Janus said, slightly too loud, waking up the others in the room. Logan carried on the conversation as if there weren’t any new listeners, however.   
“Y-yeah. After that, we had a little discussion. You glitching out and bleeding shouldn’t have happened. If you had the same energy levels as the rest of us, you would have shrugged it off. Remus and Virgil also pointed out that you can only glitch while in disguise. From there, we figured it out. We then went to your room, found you, cleaned your room and operated on your stab wounds. However, no one wanted to leave until you woke up, so that brings us to know.” Logan explained.  
“Then where is Pat-” before he could finish his sentence, it was finished for him, as Patton himself came in with a bowl of hot soup.

“Hey, kiddo. Logan texted me to say that you were up, so I heated up some soup for you. It’s only tinned because I wanted it done quickly. I hope you don’t mind.” Patton said, chipper. He then proceeded to take Logan’s seat, as the side got up to move out of the way. Logan then went to move Janus in a sitting position. Once seated, Patton took a spoonful of the soup and held it up to Janus’ mouth. Surprisingly, however, Janus turned his face away.  
“What’s the matter, Jan. You need to eat and you won’t be able to hold this yourself.” At this, Jan’s resolve became even stronger, turning his face as far as he could.  
“Come on, Jan, you need this.”  
“I’m not hungry” He said, sourly. As if to contradict him though, his stomach growled loudly, protesting Janus’ actions. It wasn’t as if the others would believe him anyway, in this state.  
“Janus, we know for a fact that you are starving so buck up and eat the damn soup.” Virgil said, coming closer, hoping tough love could be an answer.  
“My answer is no, so unless you intend to force-feed me, I will not be eating that soup.” Janus announced, standing his ground.   
“That’s not actually a bad idea.” Remus mused, smiling.  
“Remus, we are not going to force-feed him. That’s inhumane.” Logan rebutted. “I guess we just have to wait until he is ready.” 

“Yeah, cool, just talk about me like I’m not here.” Janus sneered. “If you are all done with this charade, I would like to be alone.” When no-one made an attempt to move, he added: “Now please.” With that, everyone got up and left the room. Patton visually deflated. Once outside of the room, Roman asked: “What the hell was all that about?”  
“Double Dick is very stubborn. He doesn’t like asking for help. Being self-preservation and selfishness, he believes he should do everything on his own. His independence and self-sufficiency are very important to him.” Remus explained.   
“I guess the only thing we can do then is wait until he gets desperate.” Virgil suggested.   
“He’s desperate now!” Patton countered. “We just need to convince him.”

Over the rest of the day, Patton, Logan and Remus kept going into Janus’ room in order to convince him to eat. Each time, Janus turned them down. Patton was basically in tears by the end of it all. Roman and Virgil, however, never entered the room again after they first left it, both feeling ashamed. Virgil throughout this whole time thought Janus was evil and never gave him a chance despite them coming from the same background i.e. the Dark Sides. Roman couldn’t believe that he himself became the villain. He had thrown Janus under the bus and then brutally injured him when the poor guy tried to explain himself. Neither could work up the courage to apologise.

“Don’t think you’re forgiven.” Remus growled at his brother when they crossed paths in the common room.  
“I - what?” Roman asked  
“I don’t forgive you.” he clarified.  
“I don’t need your forgiveness. I need Janus’.” He retaliated.  
“That’s a 180 from earlier. Yesterday you were more than happy to spill his blood. It was slaying the villain, wasn’t it?” He said, false nonchalance on his tongue.  
“Shut it! I got it wrong. Okay. I made a mistake. I accept that. You don’t need to rub salt in the wound!” He barked back.  
“I bet even with all that extra salt, your “wound” wouldn’t hurt anywhere near as much as Janus’. I bet the only reason you want to apologise is just to ease your guilt. You don’t care about his feelings. If you did, you wouldn’t have stabbed him in the first place.” He growled.  
“What is your problem!”  
“MY PROBLEM IS YOU! You left me! You took Virgil from me! Now you try to take Janus from me! You try to take everything away from me that makes me happy! The only reason I haven’t given you the same courtesy you gave him is because HE is my priority right now, not like you with your only priority being your pride. Compared to Jan, you’re not even worth my time. Now, excuse me while I take this sandwich up to him.”

As he began to walk away, Roman grabbed his arm. “Remus, wait.”  
“What.”  
“I’m sorry. Both to you and Janus. I’ve done wrong to both of you and I haven’t thought about my actions. What I’ve done is despicable, all because Janus compared me to you. So give me this chance to swallow my pride and let me say that I will do whatever I can to make it up to the both of you.” He said, near tears.  
“Fine, then do it.” Remus answered, deadpan.  
“What?”  
“I said do it.”

“Hey guys, are you all alright, I heard shouting.” Patton said as he came down the stairs. Logan was not too far behind. Hearing both Remus’ and Roman’s voices, he knew the situation could get ugly and so came to prevent it.  
“Yeah, Padre, we’re fine. Just having a discussion.  
“You are aware Janus is not going to eat that.” Logan said, pointing at the sandwich Remus was holding.  
“He has to eat something, wolverine. If he doesn’t, soon he’ll turn to dust like a decaying rat carcass.” Remus said, worry cloaking his voice.

Like a lightbulb, Roman was hit with an idea. “ Hey, Remus I know a way I can try to make it up for Janus. What’s Jan’s favourite food?”  
“Well, as far as I know, he’s a big fan of steak. Likes it medium rare. He is part snake so he’s a big meat fan. I like it too but I prefer it raw, like when-”. Before he could finish, Roman went on to explain his idea.  
“I realised that I was the last one of you guys to go through the Janus therapy treatment. That means the inner conflict isn’t actually resolved. I…(gulp) regretfully cut it short due to my actions, which I do now regret by the way. That means if I go in there in order to carry on talking, Janus’ will be in control of the conversation. If I give him the steak, his favourite food, as a token of truce, he might relinquish control of his eating habits and actually eat it.” He proposed.  
“Mmmh, that actually might work.” Logan said, thinking to himself.   
“Well, then, I better get this steak on then.” Patton said, hope starting to swell in this voice.


	7. A Prince, A Snake and A Piece of Steak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman goes to visit Janus to talk about his issues. Janus reveals some of his own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Food mentions, self-hatred, self-harm mentions, mentions of imposter syndrome, emaciation, mentions (and joke) of injury by sword, hunger.   
> This chapter sounds very full on, but really it is more of Roman and Janus acknowledging their own and eachother's problem which is actually the first step to healing. This chapter has a nice ending to it, I promise.

Janus was in his room, I mean where else would he be? He kept trying to get out as he hated being in his bed but he was too weak to move much. “I guess you brought this on yourself.” He thought. The attempt, however, caused his injury to retaliate by giving him a dosage of pain. When he looked at his injury, he could see that it was stitched up very neatly. Logan apparently really knew what he was doing. He was flattered, really, that all the other sides were trying to help him. They tidied his room, they patched him up, they tried to feed him. It was the last one that was too far for him. He was Deceit, for heaven’s sake. The day he would allow himself to be spoon-fed was the day he would officially die of shame. With nothing better to do and resigned to his room, Janus thought while no-one was here to interrupt him, he’d relax for a bit. 

When Roman entered the room, a plate of steak in hand, Janus seemed like he was asleep. Putting the steak on the bedside table, Roman leaned over the bed to get a better look at its inhabitant. Janus’s eyes were extremely sunken and the bags under his eyes could rival Virgil’s eyeshadow. How long had Janus been like this, he thought.  
“It’s rude to stare, pricey. It’s not like I was trying to sleep or anything.” The snake said, eyes still closed, snapping Roman out of his thought.  
“Oh, sorry. Anyway, I, uh, came in here to talk, if you don’t mind. Due to my, well, less than princely behaviour, I may have cut my snake therapy session short. I feel we need to clean the air between us.” Roman admitted. “If you’re not up to it right now, that’s fine, but I brought this as a peace treaty.” He continued, picking up the steak. Janus’ eyes widened and his stomach gave an almighty growl upon seeing the meal. Roman couldn’t help but smirk.  
“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. I just thought it would show you that I no longer have any ill will towards you. What do you say?”

“I say, help me to sit up, I can’t have a proper chat with you if I’m laying down can I?” Roman did as he asked. Janus brought out his other 4 arms to help, even though Roman could easily lift him on his own, not that they did much anyway, being just as emaciated as the others.   
“That’s not very snake-like. Why do you have extra limbs, Janus?” Roman asked, curious.  
“Well, you see, I have a lot of tasks I need to accomplish. Getting Thomas to lie is the only one that gives me energy in return, but I am also the side that gets him to relax, I get him to procrastinate, I hold his deepest desires, I keep the secrets and I protect his ego. The extra arms help with all the extra work.”  
“Wait, wait wait. Let's break that down. You protect his ego? I’m his ego!” Roman said, confused. Janus, if it was even possible, turned more pale, having realised what he said. He just isn’t allowed to keep secrets any more, is he?  
“Yes, Roman, I protect the ego. When Thomas, and by extension, you are not prepared to mentally deal with something, I keep the harmful knowledge away, lying if I must, until you are both ready to handle it. I am a filter of sorts. I do a similar thing with Remus.”  
“I-I never realised you were looking out for me.” Roman admitted, blushing slightly out of embarrassment.  
“I represent self-preservation, Roman. All of us together is Thomas’ self. Therefore, I try my best to look out for everyone. I may use underhanded tactics, but my end goal remains the same.  
“And you said that lying is the only thing that gives back. That hardly seems fair. I guess that explains why you lie all the time.” Roman pondered.  
“Look, Roman. Under normal circumstances, I would never tell you what I’m about to tell you, but as I can’t reach any lower than the rock bottom I am currently in, it would be more beneficial to share this information than keep it hidden. You need to hear this. Yes, lying is the only thing that gives me energy in return, keeping me “fed” if you will, but this only works if Thomas is the one to lie. I can taste all of your guys’ lies, but it's more equivalent to chewing gum. It doesn't “feed” me. The only reason I lie is out of habit. Unluckily for me, lying is something that Thomas has to actually, consciously do. Thanks to my less than pleasing public image, that no longer happens very often. I made some progress in the last episode, but it was akin to treating a draught with a few drops. I live with it though, I guess. Well, at least I did.”

“Then why didn’t you eat? It would have helped.” Roman asked, concern written all across his face.  
Janus stayed silent, lowering his head in shame as if he was afraid to explain.  
"Come on Janus. You have to tell me. No one can help if you don't explain yourself. Isn't that what you wanted? To have your say? I'm giving you a chance right now." Roman said, not unkindly.  
"Mmmh" is all Janus said back.  
"Please, Janus. You are helping everyone else. Give us a chance to help you. You don't have to do anything else but explain. You said yourself that you are self-preservation. Can Thomas properly function if that part of himself is refusing to try and work at full capacity?"  
"I guess you're right." Janus said back with a small voice.  
"So, please tell me Janus, why didn't you eat?"  
“Why bother? If Thomas didn’t want to heed my voice, what right did I have? After being pushed to the shadows and ignored for so long, you start to want to ignore yourself. If Thomas wasn’t going to maintain me, why maintain myself? After all I had done to make the rest of you hate me, why take your resources? I’m the Disney villain. I need to be punished for my crimes, even if I can’t help but commit them.” Silent tears were now rolling down his face. Roman was close to tears himself.  
“Is that what these scars are for?” He asked, taking Janus’ scaled hand.  
“What do you mean?” Janus asked, sniffling.  
“Well, it seems to me that you don’t like the role you were meant to play. You didn’t audition for it but it’s the part you got, and you just have to follow the script. So, whenever you had the chance, you tried taking the costume off.” Roman explained.  
“Yeah, I guess when you put it like that. I just hate my scales. Every time I look in the mirror, it reminds me who I am and I hate it. Picking the scales was a way to punish myself and made me feel like I was distancing myself from what I am. The picking of the scales also worked as a good distraction when the hunger got too much. That, or drinking a bottle of wine.”

“I understand you, Jan. I go through something similar, not the hunger and wine thing, obviously, but the not liking your reflection thing. I’m expected to be the perfect prince. All those expectations on me, it gave me a bad case of impostor syndrome which I tried to hide with a narcissistic front. I knew what I was meant to be and what I wasn’t meant to be. However, at the trial and after the wedding, the expectations were getting muddled and I didn’t know what I was meant to think. All I knew is that I had to be on the moral side. Patton said you were bad, so I sided with him in the sentence. I convinced myself that you had built me up just to watch me fall. That is why I was so harsh to you after the wedding. But then suddenly, Patton was on your side. By this point, I had convinced myself that you were the root of my problems. I had chosen a viewpoint at the beginning and I had to stick with it. I needed to be good. I needed to be the hero. I guess your remark of being like Remus was just the straw that broke the camel's back.”

“Roman,” Janus said, trying his best to reach a hand out to him.  
“After what you told me though, I feel bad saying you had a creepy snake face, knowing you have self-esteem issues like me.”  
“Roman, it’s okay.”  
“No it’s not!” he sniffled.  
“Roman, I hurt you just as much as you hurt me. We are both to blame. I just happened to be the one who toppled the Jenga tower. I put you in a corner. Your reaction may have been a bit extreme, and dare I say, “to the point” but you're sorry and I can see that. I’m sorry too. If we keep blaming ourselves, we are never going to get anywhere, are we? Why don’t we take this as an opportunity to start over?”  
“Did you just make a joke about your very serious injury?”  
“No, of course not”. He giggled  
“But yeah, you’re right. Today, we start a clean slate.”  
“Truce?”  
“Truce.”  
.  
.  
.  
“Hey Roman.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I’m really hungry right now.” His stomach growled yet again. “See?”  
Roman chuckled. “You want your steak?”  
“If you wouldn’t mind.”  
“Want me to help you with it?”  
“I guess I don’t have any other option.”


	8. The Greatest Mission Plan: Cookies Included

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil feels he should apologise to Janus, but he doesn't know how and is too anxious to even visit the snake side. Luckily, Patton comes up with a plan where everyone can say thank you to the side and him and Virgil can apologise. Logan is sent to keep Janus company in the meantime while everyone is busy with this surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys but the next chapter is going to be the last one. I hope you all look forward to it.  
> TW: panic attacks, spiralling thoughts, food mentions, Remus being Remus  
> Remember to all stay safe

It had been a few days since Janus’ chat with Roman. Quite frequently, he and all other sides came to visit. That is, except for one. Virgil had yet to visit since he cleaned the room.  
What could he do? For years, Virgil had accused Janus of being evil, just because of his function, not realising that if he applied that same logic to himself, he would be evil. He hadn’t even thanked him for standing up to him and trying his best to comfort him, even if that meant retreating to his room while Logan and Patton talked to himself. It’s not like they needed him there now anyway. The others were now getting Janus to start eating again, even if Janus had to specifically say what he wanted and when, allowing him to have some sort of control while he got his strength back. They had even convinced Thomas to tell white lies under his breath to help Janus regain his strength. With all of this, it was so much easier for Virgil to just stay in his room and stay out of Janus’ way.

That was until Patton came into his room. “Hey, kiddo. How have you been? With all of us being busy with Janus, I’ve been getting worried you started feeling left out.”  
“Nah, pop. I’m fine. You shouldn’t be in my room though. You know how it can corrupt.” He said, a concerned look on his face.  
“Ok, Virge. It’s just that you have been in here more than usual so I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. I’m here if you need to talk about anything.” Patton said sweetly.  
“Actually, there is something I want to talk to you about.” he replied anxiously. “We should probably get out of my room though before it starts corrupting you.”   
“Oh, yeah, sure thing.”

Once outside, Patton put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder and asked: “So, what is it you want to talk about?”  
“Well, it’s about Janus.” he replied, breathing heavily to prevent a panic attack.  
“Oh, yeah?”  
“Yeah. It’s just that, I want to see him, but I can’t y’know. The whole reason I thought Thomas would hate me after I said I was a Darkside was because of his opinions on Remus and Janus. I didn’t like them myself either. But now, looking back, if Thomas himself could accept Janus, why didn’t I give him a chance like Roman did at the trial or like you in the last episode. In reality, I should have been the first person to give him a chance but here I am, not even trusting him until he had a literal sword plunged into his body. What kind of person does that make me?” Virgil was rambling at this point, inching closer and closer to a panic attack.

“Hey, Virge, Virge, listen to me, okay? It’s fine. If anything, I had an even worse opinion of him. I’m the one that made him a Darkside to begin with. If he can tolerate me, then I’m sure he can forgive you.” Patton interjected, taking Virgil’s hand and making soothing circles on the palm with his thumb. “Oh, I have an idea! We can say sorry together. That way, you won’t be alone and you can prove to Janus that you mean what you say. I mean, he can taste lies so he’ll know you’re telling the truth.” Patton’s eyes were twinkling at the idea.  
“Mmh, I don’t know. It’s the idea of facing him. What do I say? When do I say it? What if he actually hates me and it’s just annoying him?” He was an anxious ball of nerves.  
“How about this, Virge? We make him some cookies. We bake them together. He’s starting to get his strength back so I’m sure he can eat the cookie on his own now. We also get the others and we all thank him for what he has done for us. Then you and I can say sorry. Everyone will be there to give you support and he’ll see you are making an effort.” Patton suggested, comfortingly.  
Virgil was silent for a bit, thinking it over, before he took a deep breath and uttered “Okay, Pat. Let’s do it. Even if he doesn’t forgive me, it’s a step in the right direction.” Patton was beaming at this response and almost immediately grabbed Virgil’s hand and dragged him to the common room’s kitchen, basically running all the way there.

“Alright then. Let’s start baking!” Patton shouted, unable to contain his excitement.  
“Wait, wait, popstar. What type of cookies will we even be making?” Virgil asked as he took a seat on the kitchen counter. Patton seemed stumped at that one. He obviously hadn’t thought that far ahead.  
“Did I hear talk about cookies?” Roman asked as he walked in the room.  
“Yeah. We are going to make some cookies for Janus to thank him for all he’s done for us. And also for me and Virge here to say sorry for how we treated him. He obviously needs a pick me up at the moment.” Patton replied.  
“Due to his current position, cookies with a high caloric intake would be the most beneficial with maybe some fruit afterwards for the nutrients.” Logan said as he walked into the kitchen after hearing all the talking.  
“Ooh, ooh, you could make the cookies look like mutilated corpses and put on red icing on the top to make it look like blood!” Remus added in grotesquely as he followed Logan into the room.  
“We are not doing that.” Virgil said, giving Remus a hard stare.  
“How about we make them look like his logo. And to go with the cookies, we could make a card which we can all sign.” Roman suggested  
“That sounds amazing Roman.” Patton replied, his eyes gleaming. “Ok, here’s the plan everyone. I and Virge will make the cookies. Roman, you and Remus work on the card. He’s quite close to Remus so it only makes sense that he designs it with you. And Logan, you keep Janus company so he’s not lonely while we are all busy. Make him feel comfortable and at ease and advice on how to help his current state. We’ll text you when we are ready and then we can surprise him!” Patton’s game plan got the approval of everyone.  
“I guess, after what I did, I can put up with my brother. If Janus would like his input then I will let Remus have it.” Roman said, trying to be a bigger person than he was before.  
“I still don’t forgive you Roman, but if Janus can let dead dog carcasses rot (his version of letting sleeping dogs lie) then I guess I can work with you.” Remus admitted.  
“I will keep Janus company and give him advice. After him helping me come to terms with my own problems, it would only be right for me to help him with his.” Logan said, still not straying away from his deadpan tone but definite signs of emotion swimming in his eyes.  
“I guess if I’m with someone the whole time and Janus will really like it, then I guess I can face saying sorry to him and if cookies are the best way to do that, then I guess I just have to be brave enough to do it.” Virgil mumbled, although loud enough for the others to hear.  
“Then what are we all waiting for. Let’s get to it.” Patton cheered. And with that, they all got to work.

“So, may I ask what prompted this visit?” Janus queried Logan as he entered the serpent’s room. Janus was still incredibly frail and on bed rest. However, he had a bit of colour returning to his face. He was no longer as emaciated as now he was getting food and the occasional lie from Thomas. He could also now sit up on his own without having to be picked up and could eat most things without someone else having to hold it. He couldn’t pick up very heavy plates filled with food but that was what his new bed tray table was for - courtesy of Roman.  
“I just wanted to know how you have been progressing and give advice on areas you feel you need. I need to make sure you are healthy. I can’t do that if I don’t visit you, can I?” Logan replied. Janus blushed at that response. Everyone was suddenly caring about him ever since the incident. It felt weird but a nice weird. It seemed even Remus and Roman put aside their sibling rivalry for him. However, his issues were not at the forefront of his mind at the moment.  
“You can see how I’ve been progressing, Logan, just by looking at me. I’m eating. I’m slowly getting stronger. You know all this. What I think is much more important is how you are doing.” He said, voice as smooth as butter.

“M-me?” Logan asked, shocked.  
“Well, yeah. You were the first person I and Patton talked to when we went out to fix this internal conflict. Since then, and excuse my french, shit has gone sideways. I thought it was important to make sure you are still doing alright.”  
“Well then, to answer your question,” Logan began as he took a seat by Janus’ bedside, “I am adequate.”  
“Wow, Logan. That was so informative. I could write a book series with all that information.” Janus replied, voice thick with sarcasm.   
“You want me to go into more detail?” Logan asked. “Alright. Since our initial conversation, I have come to terms with my issue and have made plans to amend it. Whenever I feel like I am being ignored, I will make my emotions of such an action be known so that our discourse may continue without me having to take part in repression once again.”  
“That’s good. Do you still feel like you are being ignored at the moment now though?” Janus questioned.  
“Not recently. Due to the severity of recent events, it seems that the voice of reason is more important than usual. I also believe, thanks to your intervention, that this has been a learning experience for everyone. They now know that I need to be heeded, and if I am not, I will no longer “act the robot” and will make my opinions clear. With Patton being present in our chat and understanding his short-comings, I have no doubt that he will help enforce this.” Logan said confidently.

“That’s great, Logan. And again, I would like to apologise for any way I made you suffer by perpetuating the others’ actions in ignoring you.” Janus replied.  
“It's water under the bridge.” Logan said, pulling out a vocab card to read the phrase, which made Janus chuckle slightly. They continued chatting for a while. It started off with progress they were making in their respective healing processes but it quickly spiralled into talking about each other's interests. It turns out that both of them had a love for Sherlock Holmes among other things. They also shared a disdain towards action movies. Logan thought the logic behind the plots was lacking whereas Janus thought the villains were lacking. Safe to say, the creativity twins would have been appalled at hearing such blasphemy. Their discussion was cut short however when Logan’s phone pinged.

He looked down at his phone, smiled and looked back up at Janus.  
“What’s that about?” Janus asked, curious as to what made Logan smile.  
Logan got out of his seat, went over to the door, grabbed the doorknob and turned back to Janus.  
“You’ll find out soon enough.” Logan responded as he left the room.


	9. And It Was All Thanks To The Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others surprise Janus with a card and cookies. Needless to say, he is very happy. We then get a look at how things are progressing a few weeks later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Remus being Remus, food mentions, mentions of scar  
> I actually believe this is the least potentially triggering chapter I've posted so far. It's cause it all fluff, baby.   
> Since this is my last chapter, there are some notes at the end

When the door opened again, Janus was just expecting Logan to enter. He was not prepared for a parade of sides to march in, all smiling with the side at the front, Patton, holding something in tinfoil.  
“What’s all this about?” Janus asked slightly on edge.  
“Well, kiddo, we wanted to thank you for all the work you have done for us. You have helped us so much. Even after a serious accident, you still tried your best to help us and we wanted to give back.” Patton replied cheerfully.  
“Thank you for the gesture but it is entirely unneeded. All I did was help you acknowledge your problems. You are blowing this all out of proportion.”  
“Falsehood,” Logan said crisply. “By making us acknowledge our problems, you started a healing process in all of us. In simple terms, you started a domino effect. You helped me and Patton. We then helped Virgil and then once we got to Roman, despite his reaction to you, you persevered. So, yes, this thank you is entirely needed.”  
“And, its, uh, not just that,” Virgil mumbled, trying to work up the courage. He took a deep breath and looked Janus in the eye. “I and Patton, but especially I want to apologise to you. I was wicked to you, calling you evil and cruel every chance I got, not realising how hypocritical it made me. We were on the same side once. When I went to the light sides, I completely disregarded you, despite the fact that you probably just wanted the same thing as me: acceptance. Well, if it wasn’t official in the last episode, it is now. We accept you Janus, all of us and we are so sorry for what we did to you.” 

Before Janus could say anything, Patton then spoke up. “Janus, I am so sorry for not hearing you out sooner. If you hadn’t made me realise the error of my ways in the last episode, I wouldn’t have gone to you asking for help and we would all still be residing in our emotional dumps. Making you a Darkside was the biggest mistake I ever made. There shouldn’t be light sides or dark sides at all. We are all just different parts of the same person. I should have realised it sooner. But I realise it now. Janus, I am so sorry for the way I treated you. From now on, you and Remus are officially part of the FAMily.”  
“Talking about Remus,” Roman began, “He and I made a card for you. We hope you like it.” They handed it over to Janus as Remus said:  
“My drawing is the obviously better one in green crayon while Roman’s boring is the one in red. I mean, not using red for blood and guts is completely a waste of the colour but whatever. We all signed it by the way.” The card had two separate drawings on the front. In red crayon, there was a picture of a snake smiling with a speech bubble saying “Thanks Jan.” The other drawing was in green crayon and was a man with his head decapitated and bleeding with the head saying. “Heads off to you”. Janus thought that it was obvious they were in two different colours because the twins wanted to differentiate who did what drawing. When he opened it, it had signatures of all the sides and a thank you message from each of them. Before he could say anything, Virgil said:  
“It’s to go with the cookies.”

As Janus looked up, Patton had unveiled a mound of cookies from under the tinfoil. They were in the shape of his insignia with black and white icing over the top, so it looked as close to the actual logo as possible. He couldn’t believe this. All the sides, most of them previously hating his guts, were all in his room, treating him to cards and cookies, thanking him for all the work he has done. He wasn’t prepared for this and to the shock of everyone and himself, he began to cry.  
“Oh, did we do something wrong? Did we upset you?” Patton said quickly. “If you don’t like it, it’s ok.”  
“N-no, Patton. It’s okay.” He managed to sniffle out. “I’m just a little overwhelmed by it all. I wasn’t expecting this. Thank you all so much.” And to prove he was happy, he opened up all his arms, inviting everyone for a hug. A second later, everyone was sitting on the bed and wrapped up in Janus’ arms, all slightly sniffling, including Logan.   
“So,” he said after about a minute, “I don’t know about you but I definitely couldn’t do with some cookies right about now.” prompting everyone to get up and start eating the cookies as they talked and laughed, Remus saying how much better they would taste if they had actual snakes in them. Everyone was happy and laughing.

A weeks later, Janus had gained a lot of his weight back, although he had to use a walking stick to walk, as to not aggravate his stab injury too much, as suggested by Roman and Logan. Thanks to Janus’ suggestions, Remus was now allowed some creative control, saying he was incredibly useful when Thomas wanted to make horror fanfiction or creepy OCs and would also be able to add some subtle adult jokes in some videos that Joan would approve of. Logan was no longer ignored and whenever he felt like he was, he made sure others knew it. He also no longer suppressed his emotions. Patton no longer expected to have to know all the answers to certain dilemmas and would talk to the other sides for different perspectives on what the right thing to do was. Virgil no longer felt like he was being dragged back into his position of the bad guy just because of his previous “Dark Side” persona. Roman felt more at ease, not having the weight of having to live up to all expectations and could be more himself, making it clear when he felt a little insecure so the others could help. 

Janus helped with self-care and selfishness but never took it too far to the point that it was a detriment to Thomas’ friends and responsibilities. In certain occasions where it was the right thing to lie, Thomas did. If Thomas did have to go on an honesty streak because there was no good point to lie, Janus would make sure he would eat too keep up the equilibrium. Luckily, it is really hard to be completely honest 100% of the time, meaning Janus never went on a starvation streak again. He also stopped picking his scales, although not right away. After a time, he realised that the others actually liked his scales, saying it made him look unique. It took a while for Roman to stop apologising to Janus about his injury, despite Janus explaining that he had forgiven him ages ago. He said instead, the scar would be a reminder of how much Roman had come and how much they all healed, claiming he liked the scar in that sense. Despite that, Roman never raised his sword at him again, even if it would just to show off his princely nature. 

Things in the mindscape were healthier than they had ever been, now that all the sides were now working in harmony. Everyone tried their best to get along and communication between each other was at an all-time high. And it was all thanks to a certain snake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this far. I can't believe so many people would be interested in this fic. Looking at my inbox and finding that I've got kudos and comments really makes my day. All of you have been so kind. I won't be writing a new fic in a while as I'm moving to university soon. Once I'm settled, I'll try to write some more. All I can say now is stay safe my guys, gals and nonbinary pals! Peace Out!


End file.
